I’ve been away from Delicious Chip for 3 months. It’s unfortunate. I’m ashamed. But please, baby, take me back! I can explain.
I’ve spent the last few months working tirelessly on some projects at work. They involved restoring a TV show from the 70s, followed shortly by designing a Blu-ray for a 70′s rock god. It’s been a 70′s kind of vibe lately, and I’m not complaining because it’s been cool to be a part of.
I’m tired. Exhausted. And I missed you. I missed THIS. So I wanted to present you with some roasted butternut squash as a token of my apology, a sincere symbol of my promise to never abandon you again. (I know I said that the last time, baby, but I’m broken. And you can fix me, righ–oh, this is unhealthy.)
Speaking of health, roasted butternut squash is supposed to be a good source of dietary fiber and fatty acids that benefit the heart. But I would say butternut squash is NOT good for the heart due to the stress it causes. Because it caused me to have a breakdown.
A butternut breakdown.
To paint the picture: It was a late Friday night. I was sleepy and drained. Half my mind was on the squash in front of me, the other half was occupied trying to solve a simple DVD navigation issue. My brain oscillated between Adobe Encore and squash, Adobe Encore and squash. Why is Encore no longer supported by Adobe? How do I cut a squash? Why won’t my menu button return to the last menu? Do I use a serrated knife or a chef’s knife?
I picked a chef’s knife. Bad idea. As soon as I impaled the squash, it got stuck. And I was afraid to pull it out for fear of the knife flying through the air and slicing me. So I wiggled the knife for ten minutes, contemplated leaving it there forever, wiggled 5 more minutes, questioned the choices I had made in my life, wiggled for an unknown amount of time, nearly cried and finally got it out. So I now know to
1. Use a serrated knife to cut the squash in half lengthwise.
Then I had to peel the tough skin off. Easy, I thought. Not so much, turns out. Because I was peeling, navigating my way across its dangerous curves, peeling some more, navigating, peeling some more…it just didn’t end. It kept going and going. Was I doing something wrong?! Minutes passed like seconds, like the gravitational field around a butternut squash warped time. This was my personal hell, where I was relegated to peel squash for an eternity. Why was it so hard to
2. Peel the squash.
I DON’T KNOW. I looked at the clock and it was suddenly late. I wanted nothing more in that moment than to crawl into bed and leave the squash sitting there, half-naked and vulnerable on the counter amid a smattering of peel. But that would be cruel. It was then that I realized I was being sympathetic towards a squash. And I still had to
3. Scoop out the seeds.
How I felt:
It reminded me of how I always think it would be fun to carve a pumpkin, but it usually ends up being slimy and artistically disappointing. Does anyone else have these issues? Is it just me?
Once that was done, I had to
4. Cube the squash.
5. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper and bake at 400 degrees for 20 to 30 minutes.
That part was easy, but by then I was broken. What should have been 15 minutes of prep took me half an hour of scary knife-dislodging and an unknown amount of time within the peeling-space-time-vortex. Was this worth it? Will this be delicious?
It actually was. The lesson here? You should definitely roast butternut squash, but only when you’re emotionally and physically ready for it. I certainly learned my lesson.